The Mental Load Olympics (And Why So Many Women Are Ready to Retire)
If coordinating the family calendar, booking travel, chasing trades, remembering Mum’s birthday, and knowing which bin goes out this week feels like a competitive sport…
You’re not imagining it.
For many women, particularly those juggling demanding jobs, ageing parents, and kids at every stage of chaos, life has become an endurance event. One that demands precision timing, constant vigilance, and a mental filing system worthy of the Pentagon.
Most of the women I work with are Olympic level athletes in this arena.
They’re competent, organised, and able to hold an extraordinary amount of information in their heads.
They’re the ones who notice the milk’s running low while mentally drafting an email reply, while coordinating the weekend sport run, while reminding their partner that yes, the plumber is coming on Tuesday.
They don’t drop the ball, not because it’s easy, but because they’ve trained themselves not to.
But here’s the truth:
The mental load is invisible, exhausting, and largely undervalued.
And just because you can carry it, doesn’t mean you should have to.
The phrase “mental load” has thankfully entered the mainstream vocabulary in recent years. But understanding it intellectually and doing something about it are two different things.
Why is the mental load so hard to shift?
Because it’s not just about doing the tasks—it’s about noticing them.
It’s the constant mental scanning, tracking, and reminding. It’s remembering to follow up, to send the card, to check the school newsletter, to buy the gift, to reschedule the appointment, to top up the Opal card, to forward the email…
It’s knowing what needs doing, often before anyone else even realises it.
For many women, delegating feels unnatural because by the time someone offers help, they’ve already done it. Or they’re too tired to explain what needs to happen. Or, frankly, they don’t trust it will get done properly.
And so, the loop continues.
Here’s the part no one says out loud:
Being the “go-to” person in every area of life doesn’t make you more valuable. It makes you exhausted.
You can love your family, love your career, be capable, generous, and kind and still need someone to take a few of those spinning plates out of your hands.
Because the gold medal in life isn’t “doing it all.”
It’s having the clarity and courage to decide what not to do.
Finer Details Lifestyle Management Service assists many clients with their home and life admin with our trusted database of extensive trades and service providers. Give us a call to chat about how we can assist you.
